[av_layerslider id=’3′]
[av_section min_height=” min_height_px=’500px’ padding=’default’ shadow=’no-shadow’ bottom_border=’no-border-styling’ bottom_border_diagonal_color=’#333333′ bottom_border_diagonal_direction=” bottom_border_style=” id=” color=’main_color’ custom_bg=’#f7f7f7′ src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” attach=’scroll’ position=’top left’ repeat=’no-repeat’ video=” video_ratio=’16:9′ overlay_opacity=’0.5′ overlay_color=” overlay_pattern=” overlay_custom_pattern=” av_element_hidden_in_editor=’0′]
[av_heading tag=’h1′ padding=’20’ heading=’Long Bio’ color=’custom-color-heading’ style=’blockquote modern-quote modern-centered’ custom_font=’#bb2262′ size=’40’ subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ custom_class=” admin_preview_bg=” av-desktop-hide=” av-medium-hide=” av-small-hide=” av-mini-hide=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=”][/av_heading]
[av_hr class=’custom’ height=’50’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#bb2262′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ admin_preview_bg=”]
[av_one_half first min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=” margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,0px,0px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_heading tag=’h1′ padding=’20’ heading=’The Beginning’ color=’custom-color-heading’ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ custom_font=’#bb2262′ size=’30’ subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ custom_class=” admin_preview_bg=” av-desktop-hide=” av-medium-hide=” av-small-hide=” av-mini-hide=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=”][/av_heading]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half first min_height=’av-equal-height-column’ vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=’no_margin’ custom_margin=’aviaTBcustom_margin’ margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,50px,50px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=’left-to-right’ mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_textblock size=’19’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
The pressure between my inner and outer realities had become unbearable. Even skiing off a cliff, getting pneumonia and depression and electrocuting myself had brought no relief from the pain. The voice of my soul, then the size of an ant, had grown loud and persistent. My soul, my true self, wanted out. It wanted to live!
For decades I was a proud five-star doormat for my partners. I was raised to perform in this role. Making everyone except myself happy was my operating program. Wearing a happy face, taking exquisite care of everyone and giving freely of my light and energy—I was perfect prey for narcissists.
He was my knight in shining armor initially, placing me on a pedestal, showering me with compliments, devotion and support. I was promised love and security in exchange for following his instructions on how to attend to his many needs. Outwardly, we had the trappings of an enviable life—the house, the kids, the fancy cars, clubs and vacations. Why, then, was I walking on eggshells, living on red alert, starving emotionally, growing a thick protective shell and constantly questioning my sanity?
The outside world told me that I had nothing to complain about, and I tried to convince myself that everyone was right. But living with him was debilitating and crazy-making!
[/av_textblock]
[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’left’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=’no_margin’ custom_margin=’aviaTBcustom_margin’ margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,50px,50px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=’left-to-right’ mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_textblock size=’19’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
More than once—in the name of love—I gave up everything to become my partner’s doormat. This crippled my ability to be helpful to many other people I cared for; I burdened them with my pain instead.
When problems arose, everything was made out to be my fault. I accepted the blame, even when it was my toe that was stepped on. Judged, criticized, belittled, lied to, repeatedly betrayed and psychically abused behind the scenes, I lost touch with who I was.
My reality had been so molded by him that I no longer knew what I liked. I gave up friends and hobbies, I surrendered my creativity. His slow drip of poison had turned my inner picture of self into a longhaired garbage can with its lid off, a receptacle for his negative mental and emotional energies.
I tried everything to change my partner, to have some intimacy, some caring. Why couldn’t he have empathy and consideration for other people’s feelings and interests, apologize once in awhile and respect other drivers on the road?
Burying my own feelings became the norm. The flowers of my inner “soul garden” were trampled. In order to survive, I kept doing more and more of the only things I knew how to do to be loved—plaster on a happier face, be nicer, entertain more lavishly, work harder, be more caring. It was up to me to fix everything, make excuses for his often embarrassing, hurtful and destructive behavior, all the while struggling to show the outer world and myself how perfect everything was.
[/av_textblock]
[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’left’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half first min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=” margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,0px,0px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_heading tag=’h1′ padding=’20’ heading=’The Wake-Up Call’ color=’custom-color-heading’ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ custom_font=’#bb2262′ size=’30’ subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ custom_class=” admin_preview_bg=” av-desktop-hide=” av-medium-hide=” av-small-hide=” av-mini-hide=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=”][/av_heading]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=” margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,0px,0px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half first min_height=’av-equal-height-column’ vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=’no_margin’ custom_margin=’aviaTBcustom_margin’ margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,50px,50px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=’left-to-right’ mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_textblock size=’19’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
The biggest wake-up call came when my partner furiously attacked and condemned my behavior at a weekend seminar. I’d experienced a personal breakthrough by taking a huge risk and offering my Energy Balancing work to a number of receptive people who showed their appreciation at the end with an enormous bouquet of flowers. I was ecstatic and my soul was singing!
His raging condemnations and icy treatment continued for weeks. I found it impossible to comprehend what I had done to deserve such wrath. Why wasn’t he proud to have someone at his side who was publicly honored?
I mustered the courage to keep my “lid” on and not take in his negative energy. I asked many friends and family for a “reality check” and they all applauded me for taking the risk—doing what I felt was important by sharing my gifts in a big way.
After weeks of feeling beaten down by his contempt, he finally told me why he was so angry at my behavior. Here is the statement that finally set my soul free:
“Your job as my wife is to turn your light down around me.”
[/av_textblock]
[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’left’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=’no_margin’ custom_margin=’aviaTBcustom_margin’ margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,50px,50px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=’left-to-right’ mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_textblock size=’19’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
My perspective of who I was radically shifted in that moment. My inner garbage can disintegrated and I rolled up my doormat.
“Wow! I have light! I am light! There are people out there who see my light and want to see it shine brighter! I don’t have to do doormat anymore!” Like a lightbulb that had been in a drawer for decades, I only needed to plug myself into a socket other than that of a narcissist.
And plug in I did.
When I first heard the term narcissist years ago, everything began to make sense. Unknowingly I had been caught in the invisible webs of narcissists for decades. In my quest to find sanity and reclaim my life I made it my mission to learn everything I could about narcissists and the dynamics of being in relationship with them—inside and out.
[/av_textblock]
[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’left’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half first min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=” margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,0px,0px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_heading tag=’h1′ padding=’20’ heading=’Breaking out of Prison’ color=’custom-color-heading’ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ custom_font=’#bb2262′ size=’30’ subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ custom_class=” admin_preview_bg=” av-desktop-hide=” av-medium-hide=” av-small-hide=” av-mini-hide=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=”][/av_heading]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=” margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,0px,0px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half first min_height=’av-equal-height-column’ vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=’no_margin’ custom_margin=’aviaTBcustom_margin’ margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,50px,50px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=’left-to-right’ mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_textblock size=’19’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
With a masters in neuro-linguistic programming in 1990 I was already searching to understand the fascinating interplay between body, mind and spirit. How to stop dancing with narcissists, I learned, had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. Diving into energy medicine techniques, Voice Dialogue, Psych-K, biofeedback, family constellation work, system dynamics, Essence Training, group leadership and coaching the Metabolic Balance custom nutrition program led to my being licensed as a non-medical practitioner of psychotherapy and Energy Balancing in Germany. I resided there for 25 years and had a private practice. Client after client would sit across from me and tell me their story—my story—our story. Over-helpers, empaths and narcissists are attracted to each other like magnets and the dance is unfortunately always the same.
For me, it has been a long, gut-wrenching, fascinating and transformative journey to freedom, which even included constructing a wall through my living room to establish my boundaries! I bless my many teachers, therapists, mentors, family, friends and especially my five children who lit the way.
Breaking out of the prison of disempowering beliefs by learning energy and awareness techniques, and understanding the dynamics between myself and the narcissists in my life have given me the insights and tools to stop being a doormat and reclaim my life. I stopped killing myself trying to be loved by them and through loving myself I fell in love with all of life.
[/av_textblock]
[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’left’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’]
[/av_one_half][av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=’av-align-top’ space=’no_margin’ custom_margin=’aviaTBcustom_margin’ margin=’0px’ margin_sync=’true’ padding=’0px,50px,50px,50px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ radius_sync=’true’ background_color=” src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=’left-to-right’ mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_textblock size=’19’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
Today, breath and light flow easily through my being. Blue is blue and green is green. There is solid ground under my feet now, and a safe inner sanctuary to retreat to. My heart is open to feeling at one with all—peacefully energized.
The relationship I’ve cultivated with the deeper me—my truth, essence and vulnerability, my lovable, deserving self—is heaven on earth. Greeting the morning with body, mind, emotions and soul in harmony is a reality I never dreamed possible.
Narcissists no longer find me interesting or desirable and the feeling is mutual. Growing in my soul garden is an ever increasing rainbow of flowers, reflecting the many wonderful new people who have entered my life. Fear of returning to the doormat role is a distant memory, replaced by love and compassion.
Because I have both practical knowledge of narcissism and have experienced the psychic abuse their victims suffer, my empathy for people trapped in these toxic, life-draining dynamics is boundless. I am committed to empowering over-helpers and empaths, supporting their transformation and guiding them back to their beautiful, true selves. May they live in freedom and shine their lights brightly.
Breaking free of a narcissist’s web is one of the most difficult challenges there is, and it’s easier with a knowledgeable survivor holding a flashlight by your side, showing the way.
[/av_textblock]
[av_hr class=’invisible’ height=’20’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’left’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’]
[/av_one_half]
[/av_section]
[av_one_fourth first min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”][/av_one_fourth]
[av_one_half min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”]
[av_image src=’https://lifesolutions.coach/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Picture1.png’ attachment=’125′ attachment_size=’full’ align=’center’ styling=” hover=” link=” target=” caption=” font_size=” appearance=” overlay_opacity=’0.4′ overlay_color=’#000000′ overlay_text_color=’#ffffff’ animation=’no-animation’ admin_preview_bg=”][/av_image]
[av_heading heading=’WWW.ENERGYBALANCING.ME’ tag=’h6′ style=’blockquote modern-quote modern-centered’ size=” subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=”][/av_heading]
[/av_one_half]
[av_one_fourth min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=” mobile_breaking=” mobile_display=”][/av_one_fourth]
[av_section min_height=” min_height_px=’500px’ padding=’large’ shadow=’no-border-styling’ bottom_border=’no-border-styling’ bottom_border_diagonal_color=’#333333′ bottom_border_diagonal_direction=” bottom_border_style=” id=’Visual Editor’ color=’main_color’ custom_bg=’#f8f8f8′ src=” attachment=” attachment_size=” attach=’scroll’ position=’top left’ repeat=’no-repeat’ video=” video_ratio=’16:9′ overlay_opacity=’0.5′ overlay_color=” overlay_pattern=” overlay_custom_pattern=” av_element_hidden_in_editor=’0′]
[av_heading tag=’h1′ padding=’20’ heading=’STOP YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING NOW’ color=’custom-color-heading’ style=’blockquote modern-quote modern-centered’ custom_font=’#bb2262′ size=’40’ subheading_active=” subheading_size=’15’ custom_class=” admin_preview_bg=” av-desktop-hide=” av-medium-hide=” av-small-hide=” av-mini-hide=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=”][/av_heading]
[av_hr class=’custom’ height=’50’ shadow=’no-shadow’ position=’center’ custom_border=’av-border-fat’ custom_width=’50px’ custom_border_color=’#000000′ custom_margin_top=’30px’ custom_margin_bottom=’30px’ icon_select=’no’ custom_icon_color=” icon=’ue808′ font=’entypo-fontello’ admin_preview_bg=”]
[av_textblock size=’20’ font_color=” color=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=’rgb(255, 255, 255)’]
+1 (818) 915-1430
I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOU!
[/av_textblock]
[/av_section]