Fahrenheit or Centigrade?
As a highly sensitive, empathic Being I learned to make myself responsible for other people’s feelings. I became a master at sensing energy as a very little girl, growing long antennas and NOT cultivating personal boundaries. I would walk into a room and take the ‘emotional temperature’. Where is there tension? Where is there discord? Where is some one not feeling happy? I was hypersensitive to the changes in the energy fields around me and between the people in my life. I could easily anticipate the wants and needs of others. Then I would make it my mission to balance the energies and create harmony in order to feel safe and loved. I learned to let others correct my perceptions, seeing through their eyes and hearing through their ears, believing their reality over mine. I took criticism to heart, always assuming I had done wrong. Then I would work even harder at pleasing them to redeem myself and prove I was worthy of love.
On the flip side, being so hypersensitive and caring was exhausting. I tended to give all I had without holding anything in reserve for myself. I had no antennas for detecting if I was receiving anything in return. The automatic program I was running on dictated me to relentlessly deny my own needs, focus outwards and try to make everyone around me happy.
No matter what I might be in the middle of I always had time to listen at length to a friend who was having problems. In the ‘line of duty’ I absorbed their pain and suffering like a psychic sponge – a psychic garbage can – a Doormat. I let people take advantage of me.
I became a gourmet praline for a Narcissist.
Being a psychic garbage can is not your imagination!
Here you see a happy balanced person taking in negative energy – trying to help. The person thanks you for listening – he feels much better. Now you carry the negative energy home to your spouse and kids.
Meda
From Doormat Diaries