Category: Doormat Diaries

Fahrenheit or Centigrade?

As a highly sensitive, empathic Being I learned to make myself responsible for other people’s feelings. I became a master at sensing energy as a very little girl, growing long antennas and NOT cultivating personal boundaries. I would walk into a room and take the ‘emotional temperature’. Where is there tension? Where is there discord? Where is some one not feeling happy? I was hypersensitive to the changes in the energy fields around me and between the people in my life. I could easily anticipate the wants and needs of others. Then I would make it my mission to balance the energies and create harmony in order to feel safe and loved. I learned to let others correct my perceptions, seeing through their eyes and hearing through their ears, believing their reality over mine. I took criticism to heart, always assuming I had done wrong. Then I would work even harder at pleasing them to redeem myself and prove I was worthy of love.

On the flip side, being so hypersensitive and caring was exhausting. I tended to give all I had without holding anything in reserve for myself. I had no antennas for detecting if I was receiving anything in return. The automatic program I was running on dictated me to relentlessly deny my own needs, focus outwards and try to make everyone around me happy.

No matter what I might be in the middle of I always had time to listen at length to a friend who was having problems. In the ‘line of duty’ I absorbed their pain and suffering like a psychic sponge – a psychic garbage can – a Doormat. I let people take advantage of me.

I became a gourmet praline for a Narcissist.

Being a psychic garbage can is not your imagination!

Here you see a happy balanced person taking in negative energy – trying to help. The person thanks you for listening – he feels much better. Now you carry the negative energy home to your spouse and kids.
Meda

From Doormat Diaries

My purpose in offering these stories written by Doormats is to raise awareness of what it feels like.  Recognize your self in a few of these true-life stories from the Doormat lives of my self, my clients and others (making them therefore anonymous) and realize that you are probably struggling with a Narcissist.

Take it as a wake-up call – a call to action! Decide it’s time to raise your consciousness and begin to examine your beliefs about your self and your place in the world. You weren’t created to be a Doormat, were you?

*          *          *

The pronoun he/his has been used.

Simply replace she/her should your Narcissist be a female.

Meda